i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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