can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
