I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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