he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
