We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
