in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize