Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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