At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
