you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
