You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
