No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
