Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
