I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
