1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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