I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
