dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
