You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
