This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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