Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
