I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
