just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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