wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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