I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
