you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
