also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
