So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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