I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
