His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
fuck your aforementioned shoe
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
