Sry I called you an 8
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
