Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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