Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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