is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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