i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
