who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
