The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
