the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
