dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
