I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
