Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Pants are for mortals
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
