were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
