Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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