You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
