Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
