i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
