Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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