JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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