The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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