OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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