I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
