Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
