what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
